How to buy a wedding dress

You’ve got the ring, you’ve set a date, now for the fun part: saying yes to the dress. It’s exciting, but with so many options (off-the-peg? Made-to-measure?) it can feel daunting. Having worked with brides and their dresses for nearly 40 years, I have a few tips to make your life easier.

Start with some inspiration

Hit the bridal magazines, websites and Pinterest to get a sense of what you like, but don't get married (pardon the pun) to one idea at this stage. Go and try on lots of different styles and see what you feel comfortable and gorgeous in. Lots of my brides say that they ended up with a totally different style from what they expected to buy.

Consider the practicalities

With that in mind, think about your dress as part of your day.

What’s your venue like? What kind of party are you throwing? A full billowing skirt is all very well, until you’re climbing over haystacks in a rustic barn. A vast train looks dramatic as you glide down the aisle, but might hamper your moves on the dance floor. I can do some clever things to bustle up a train, but it won't disappear, and really full dresses are better when they’re allowed to remain untamed. As you’re trying dresses on, practise walking, dancing and sitting to get a real feel for how they move and behave.

A note on “Pinterest vs Reality”: sheath dresses look great in the promotional pictures, all smooth and slinky. In real life, there will be wrinkles when you move and sit. If that’s going to bother you, better to choose a different style. And always remember, those dresses in the magazines have probably been clamped at the back and Photoshopped to give a tight sexy silhouette. I could alter your dress to look like that, but you probably wouldn't be able to walk, or go to the loo!

Be realistic about your budget.

There's absolutely no need to spend a fortune if you don't want to or can't afford it. A dress is not worth going into debt for.

If you’re wedding dress shopping on a budget don't worry.

There are ways to achieve the dress of your dreams without breaking the bank. But, and I cannot stress this enough, don't be tempted to buy a dress online from China. If the price looks 'too good to be true', it is. The chances are the dress in the picture will look nothing like the one you get. Unscrupulous vendors use images from reputable wedding dress designers and knock up slap-dash copies in the cheapest materials (check out facebook.com/BridesBeware if you need convincing). I’ve had distraught brides bring dresses with lace trimmings stuck on with glue, and one dress actually had the sleeves glued in. You might not even get a dress at all: I know one bride who ordered her dress from China, and received … a hairband! I kid you not. Here's the pic:

That’s not a wedding dress!!

Here are some ideas for finding an affordable wedding dress.

Try looking at high street shops like Phase 8 and Monsoon, which have bridal sections. Lots of bridal shops hold sample sales with last season's dresses at knockdown prices. If you want to be a bit more ethical, have a look at pre-loved and second-hand sites: Oxfam and other charities have special wedding shops and online market places. Ask around the family to see if anyone has got a dress stored away in the loft, just longing for another chance to be worn. I especially love altering a mother's dress to fit the daughter.

Louise wanted to wear her mother’s dress. The fabric was beautiful, but the style a little dated. I changed the neckline and back, as shown below, and the original tiara was refashioned into a hair-comb by Ellie Vandenbrekel Millinery.

The possibilities of alterations

When it comes to alterations, I can almost work miracles (but not quite!) I can do lots to make your dress fit nicely, and a well-fitting dress will make you feel confident. It's easier to take a dress in than to let it out, so if you are between sizes, go bigger. I can reduce a dress by about two sizes if necessary. I can change a zip into a lace-up back, which can make a dress a size bigger if needed. I can’t change a lace-up back into a zip – the cut of the bodice doesn’t allow for it. I can shorten most dresses, including the train, but please bear in mind that shortening a dress with a lace hem is time-consuming and therefore more expensive than taking up a plain hem. Visit my Alterations page to see what’s possible and how it works.

And what about reinventions?

Maybe you’ve found a dress in a sample sale or auntie’s attic and it’s got potential. Why not personalise it to create something truly unique. Dresses can be customised, updated, and blinged out. You don't have to be limited by what you see in front of you. Use your imagination... or mine! Visit my Reinventions page for some inspiration, and feel free to contact me to discuss your ideas.

If you've got the money and really want to splash out, have your dress made to measure.

A bespoke dress will be expensive, when you account for the time and expertise it takes to discuss the design, take your measurements, cut the pattern, find the fabrics, make a toile, even before the dress is cut out in the final fabric. But you get the dress of your dreams, exactly how you want it, in your choice of fabrics, with this neckline, that skirt, those sleeves and so on. A note here: while I’m happy to work from pictures and adapt to your specifications, please don't ask me to make a cheaper copy of one that you've seen in a magazine or a shop. Most dresses that you see in bridal shops are made overseas in factories in vast quantities in standard sizes: economies of scale and cheap labour. I simply can't do it for that price and I don't want to make a copy of someone else's design. So if you see one you want, best to buy it. But if you’re looking for something completely unique, get in touch. I love using interesting fabrics and work with some fabulous suppliers, but I’m also delighted to discuss using any fabrics you already own or incorporating heirloom pieces, such as lace, into your bespoke design. Take a look at my Bespoke Creations page to see what’s possible.

Fiona’s wedding outfit:

Fiona wanted me to use some Thai silk that she’d been given. I managed to source some lace that was a perfect match.

Other things to consider: bras!

A lot of dresses have a good structure with boning and cups as part of the construction and you probably won't need a bra. If you really want to wear one, don't choose a backless strapless dress. There are stick-on bras, but if you are well-endowed, they don't give much support and are prone to coming unstuck in hot weather. I can put cups in some dresses, but if the dress hasn't got a back, there’s nothing to hold the tension and keep the cups against your chest, so they won't do much good. Also, if you want to wear a bra, make sure it's a plain, smooth, flesh-coloured one that won't show under the dress. The same goes for knickers. Save the pretty lacy items for the honeymoon!

While we're on the subject of 'underpinnings', if you are buying your dress at a bridal shop, don't get talked into automatically buying a hooped petticoat. Consider whether you really want it and whether the dress really needs it. Lots of big dresses already have layers of netting and a hooped petticoat is not necessary. It will make the dress move differently. Experiment with and without and decide what feels right for you.

And what about choosing shoes?

Same rules apply: think about your day, your venue and your plan; practise your dance moves in the shop. When you’ve picked the perfect shoes, bring them to dress fittings because heel height will affect hem length. If you decide to have skyscraper heels for the ceremony and change into flats for the reception, you will have to decide which shoes you want the dress altered for. If you aren't used to wearing high heels, there is no rule saying you have to wear them – go for comfort! You could even wear a pair of trainers that have been blinged up, like these:

Ellie, at Petillant (now called Ellie Vandenbrekel Millinery), used offcuts from the hem of the wedding dress to customise them for our client, who is a dance teacher and fitness instructor. Ellie can also create custom-made tiaras and fascinators using beads or lace to match your dress.

One other word about your shoes: if they are covered in glitter or diamante, they have a tendency to snag on the hem of some dresses, especially ones that have a stretchy lining or are made of fine tulle. If possible, try the shoes with the dress before buying them.

Hopefully these tips are helpful as you embark on your dress quest. For alterations, reinventions and bespoke creations, get in touch.